Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Ol’ Orleans Saints March Past Same New Cardinals

By Beandipdodg

The title of this article was going to be: The Cardinal’s New Winning Formula – Lose the Coin Toss, Kick and let the D give you the Ball!! After an early fumble by the Deuce McAlister-less/Reggie Bush-less Saints and a nifty return by LB Blackstone, the Cardinals got the ball!!! Three runs and then a 4th Down TD Pass! The Cards have the No. 2 Red Zone success ratio in the league, but Ol’ Orleans is Numero Uno!! So, without delay, the Saints score a touchdown! Twice!! Both displaying the Pass First Offense and shredding the Cards’ Swiss Cheese D!! But, the Same New Cardinals evened the game and were presented with mid-field position after a nice punt return by Steve Breaston late in the second quarter. Then, it happened, DEJA’ VU all over again!! Just like the Meltdown in Seattle, the Urgently Mandatory Cardinal Play!! Nominations are now being accepted for Cardinal Play of the Year and this one is for you, Coach KW and QB KW!! What a GREAT Call!!

Over the middle and through the woods, we go…to the exact same spot at the same time as the Seattle game!! El Paso Intercepto is returned past the mid-field position we occupied at the start of the play and from there, the Saints Run the Ball!! First Down, Running Play is called!! Then, they shred the Swiss D for the go-ahead score before Halftime! Are you kidding me?? Happy Holidays from the Same Ol’ Cardinals!!

The coin toss called for a 2nd half appearance of the Urgently Mandatory Initial Series Turnover (UMIST) and the Cardinals got it done!!! SPORTSCENTER gets another chapter of Cardinal Woeful Football Memories and Ol’ Orleans takes the lead by a Pair of Touchdowns!!! But, don’t give up!! The Cardinals cut the lead in half on their next possession with a proper mix of good runs from Edgerrin James and timely QB KW passing!! Suddenly, the game is perking along at 28-21 and there is hope. After similar long drives by both teams that result in respective Field Goals, the Cards get the ball in the middle of the 4th Quarter and there is hope! A touchdown is needed to tie the game!! So, all the chips are on the table and you gotta’ bluff!! A successful Fake Punt gives the offense reprieve and there is hope!! But, alas, the Saints prevail and we are left with the Same Ol’ Cardinals – Too Many Turnovers and Penalties!! No Smashmouth Football and Not Smart!!

Regardless of your point of view, the size of the screen, your angle of attack, or season ticket seat location - the Cardinals Beat Themselves!

Again!! Truly Loyal Cardinal Fans know this was the last gasp at the playoffs!! Playoffs?? What Playoffs?? Did you really say Playoffs??

It appeared that the running game had been established, but, the passing game got most of the plays. Why?? Edgerrin James rushed 16 times for 84 yards! Did we sign him to run the ball? Can he carry the load? Can we commit to the running game! Two Games Left, Coach W!!!

Friday, December 7, 2007

A Cardinals Win!

The defense came up with a turnover on the first series against the Browns for a touchdown. Roderick Hood ran back a 71-yard-interception for a touch down. Hey Rod Graves, you made the right move signing Hood as a free agent. He has been a pleasant surprise for the Cardinals secondary this year, and Antrel Rolle has filled in admirably for Eric Green.

However, the key to the game was the Cardinals running the ball, “smash mouth football.” Keep running the ball until they stop you. This is a simple formula Coach Whisenhunt must stick with even if they are only getting two or three yards a carry. I have said it before: Run the ball, run the ball, run the ball, and you will win.

The Cardinals got a win against the Browns that they desperately needed but they must eliminate the penalties and Whisenhunt must get the plays in right away, and if he doesn’t, then Kurt Warner has to take control and get the team to the line of scrimmage and call a play quickly. Beandipdodg has pointed this out to me a thousand times—so why can’t Whisenhunt and Warner figure this out?!

But we must give Whisenhunt and the Cardinals credit for the effort they gave against the Browns. In years past the Cardinals would have laid down like lambs waiting for the slaughter after the horrific loss to the 49ers, but instead they played hard throughout the whole game.

So once again, Coach Whisenhunt, when you go to Seattle this week you must run the ball because your two best receivers are hurt. Also, a note to the defense: You must be ready to go for the whole game, and be mentally prepared from the start to stop the Seattle running game and be ready to blitz them the whole game. Coach Whisenhunt: You have nothing to lose and everything to gain; so go for it! Pull out all the stops and be aggressive in your play calling.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

There Are No Words

There simply are no words to describe the Cardinals loss on Sunday. I will say one thing: If you have a suicidal friend, don’t bring him to a Cardinals game, because he will want to end it all by the end of the game. Or maybe after watching this typical debacle, he will realize his life doesn’t suck so bad after all. The only positive thing about Sunday is I gave my housekeeping-phobic wife a choice between going to the Cardinals game and staying home to clean. Thanks to the sad sorry freak show that is frequently a Cardinals Sunday, she chose to stay at home and now I have a clean house.

There must be some sort of metamorphosis that happens to all Cardinals coaching staff the minute the Bidwills hire them, which causes them to lose their minds and all common sense. Whisenhunt must be the only coach in NFL history to not be able to get his kicker on the field for a chip shot before the play clock runs out. I realize he is a new head coach, but in the NFL you must be on top of every play. These are athletically gifted young players who have never won anything in the NFL, and if they don’t perform you have to get someone who will. (Is that “Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Good-bye” I hear playing every time the I hear the name Neil ‘13 for 20' Rackers?)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Happy Veteran’s Day – The New Cardinal Way!!

By Beandipdodg

Watching Waves of Joy and Glory, We Saluted Our Veterans of Past and Present Wars With a Cardinal Win over the Wishful Wions!! Coach W gets another W and KWarner survives another Week. But, Bertrand Berry and Adrian Wilson are definitely out indefinitely... Anquan Boldin Will not be too hip, either, so the upcoming game in Bengalton will require a full team effort from the very beginning!! Again, the Cardinals continue to present every opponent, home or away, with the Urgently Mandatory Initial Series Turnover (UMIST)! Unfortunately, this time, the defense had no chance. Maybe that’s the new Cardinal Way to get everybody excited, including the fans!!! They shouted as if they Were Waiting for a Boo concert!!! But, it Worked! The team’s energy Was totally elevated to command level!! Without a Wion’s Whimper, We Won!!

Never too many W’s!! Get it?? Well, after the Carolina Panther debacle, Bartender Al and I discussed What We could do to ensure a Cardinal Win this Week. We began by inviting WionfanMark, as Seattle Bob was absent!! We even Wondered about changing recipes!! But, the Weather Would be Warm, so We stuck With the Beandip and Hot Wings on the Dashboard of the really Cool Vehicle with Suds chillin’ in the Icy Cooler!! WoWW!! All Worked Well! Then, We Were off to the Nest!! Grandpa Mombo made his first appearance, joining Mombo Jerry with Good NeWs!! KidCraig is back from Iraq and could be attending before the season ends!! Welcome back, Kid, and thank you for your job Well Done!!! Please be ready to have lots of fun because that is Cardinal Rule 1!! Especially after the game!! The Beandip and Hot Wings on the Dashboard Were still Warm, While the Suds Were still chillin’ in the Icy Cooler…it was a party!! Finally, at the end of the day, all Was gone and a neW route Was the only real change to our habitual pregame ritual! But, We Won!!!!

Wistfully, We Will still be in the playoff hunt upon return Thanksgiving Weekend. We resume our Home schedule against the San 49’ers. Cleveland, Atlanta and St. Louis loom later! We should Win each of them!!! After this Week, the only road games are against Seattle and New Orleans. We look like a Winning football team against Detroit and Pittsburgh, but vs. Tampa Bay, it’s still the Same Old Cardinals!! So, Which Will it be?? Without a UMIST, We Will Willfully Watch a Win Without Weathering Woebegone Wonders at Cincinnati!! Remember, Coach, never too many W’s!!! Go Cardinals!!!!

Friday, November 9, 2007

One For Guantanamo

After another miserable Sunday I had a sudden revelation: Hey, being forced to watch Cardinal games could be an activity added to the Guantanamo Bay Bag O’ Tricks. For those people who object to water-boarding, I’d like to suggest replacing the technique with strapping detainees to boards and saturating them with Cardinal games. We could single handedly wipe out terrorism with a month of Sundays.

Though I might consider watching the Cardinals torture, I still found myself on my ten- year-anniversary trip, with my wife, in San Diego, at a sports bar, watching the Cardinals lose yet again. I think I stunned the bar owner when I asked him if he could turn one of the twelve TVs to the Cardinal game, but he did it. And I stayed there the whole time, watching a slow death. At half time I had hoped to see the team make some adjustments—boy, was I wrong! Maybe Whisenhunt and his coaches need to learn the definition of adjustments: Make changes at halftime and try something different. For instance, Tampa Bay was playing a 2 deep zone—Cardinals should have thrown the short 5 yard passes down the middle to the tight end and not to Michael Urban who cannot catch the ball in traffic. Warner was throwing the ball into double and triple coverage and acting like a rookie. He should have thrown the ball away—after all, this was only Tampa Bay they were playing.

The defense played well enough to win the game, but they did have some flashbacks to years past. For example, Tampa Bay drove for a score on the opening drive of the second half. Didn’t Whisenhunt have any words of wisdom for them in the locker room at half time?

There was one shining moment last Sunday at the sports bar in San Diego. Unfortunately, it did not occur on my screen, nor on the screen for the Chargers fans, who did not have much better of a Sunday. No, the one moment that united the bar and brought everyone to their feet occurred on the screen showing the 350 pound Detroit Lion Shaun Rogers lumbering 66 yards with an intercepted ball. He was knocking Bronco offensive players to the side like paper dolls, before diving into the end zone like it was a day at the beach. The Charger fans and I, for lack of anything to hope for in our respective games, all stood and cheered. But though he was the hero for the moment, the Cardinals play the Lions this week, and the Broncos humiliation one week could very well be ours this week.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

High Flying Cardinals or Bye, Bye Birdies?

By Beandipdodg

It’s Halftime and While We have a moment, let’s relax, repeat and review the Cardinal Rules!! We have Won three (3) games, so….

#1 Have a Good Time!! Well, We have had a lot more fun this season and our future appears to be bright, so right on and read on…

#2 Be Prepared….For Anything!!! Are you kidding?? How are you feeling Matt? No QB Controversy here! Good Luck, Kurt!!!

#3 Keep Your Cards Close to the Nest!!!! Offensive line must keep opponents off of Kurt Warner or it will be Hey, Hey for TRattay!

#4 Never Too Many W’s!! Win, Whisenhunt, Warner!!! Get It?? Three (3) W’s!!!! When, Who, Where and hoW Will this end??

#5 Stick With It!! OK, did you get the last one?? Three (3) W’s in the first part, followed by Five (5) W’s!!! You With me, Wimpy?

#6 Stuck With It, Stuck Without It! If you are still with me, that is Eight (8) W’s. Though a great improvement, out of the playoffs!!

#7 Ain’t That A Shame!! Cardinals still beat themselves!! Big effort, but fundamentals will determine chances for postseason play!!

So, looking ahead, the remaining Nine (9) games include Five (5) Home games: Detroit, San Francisco, St. Louis, Cleveland and Atlanta! The Four (4) Road games: Tampa Bay; New Orleans; Cincinnati and Seattle. Actually, each is Winnable, When you look at it that Way! What do you think?? While Nine (9) W’s Would be Way too many to Wish for, What do think?? Seven (7)? That is What it Will take!!! Dallas and Green Bay Will Win more than Ten (10) games. Carolina and Washington already own the tie-breaker. So, the games against Detroit and New Orleans will be crucial for the same reason. OK, What about Winning the Division? Well, that may be the only path!! Seattle is a Road game, also. So you can see that Winning Seven (7) Will be a challenge!! Will a 9-7 record produce postseason play??? Probably Not!! Who knows? Yeah, maybe making the playoffs Would be a dream. So, never too many W’s, Coach W! Go Cardinals!!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Who Will Beat the Cardinals Next?

On November 4th the Cardinals will be playing the Buccaneers. My question is who will beat the Cardinals, the Buccaneers or the Cardinals? The Cardinals at this point could be 7-0. They have the defense, but the offense is still making calls and plays out of the Three Stooges playbook. Here’s how to play Three Stooge’s Style:

  • Multiple penalties
  • Not getting the play off before the time clock runs out
  • Expecting Warner to be able to make a 5 step drop and get rid of the ball (other than the way he is getting rid of the ball—fumbling it!)

I’ve written this before and I’ll write it again. The offense needs to run, run, run, until it absolutely has to throw. It’s okay to punt the ball and give the defense good field position; the defense has been playing great. Warner needs to stop forcing the ball, it’s better to throw it away than to have just one more turnover. Consider giving Rattay another chance. Get the play called before the clock runs out. Please, Coach Whisenhunt, manage the game. When Whisenhunt can’t get the play in to Warner, Warner should just get all his players lined up and call a play. In conclusion, they have two weeks to figure it out. I’ll be in San Diego—hopefully not burning up over the game, or just burning up, period.