Cardinal Team Management or "The Nitwit Zone"

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to Cardinal’s fans. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between incompetence and stupidity, between the illogical and the irrational, and it lies between the pit of Cardinal’s fans fears and the summit of, well, even more fear. This is the dimension of Cardinal Team Management. It is an area which we call "The Nitwit Zone.”

In examining the nebulous world of Cardinal Team Management, a fan can only scratch his or her head in confusion over the preseason decision making of Coach Ken Whisenhunt and General Manager Rod Graves. Two draft picks have been cut, 3^rd round pick Buster Davis (LB) and 7^th round Ben Patrick (TE), as well as Brandin Gorin (OT), a trade from the New England Patriots (for a 6^th round pick if he made the team or a 7^th round pick if he didn’t make the team). The Cardinals were 5 and 11 last year, a record which would suggest ample opportunity to find appropriate draft picks to fill the team’s needs. We at Red Bird Big Turd do not argue that the above players performed poorly in the preseason and needed to go, but we also wonder how and why they were picked in the first place. Do Whisenhunt and Graves use The Magic Eight Ball in finding their draft picks? Do they play Paper, Rock, Scissors? Whatever they do, their lack of vision in filling out their roster, has forced us to dub the 2007 Cardinal draft the first Cardinal Play of the season. Usually The Cardinal Play is committed by players on the field after they make a bone-headed maneuver that will cost them the game. This time, however, we’re attributing the first Cardinal Play to the management in failing so miserably with their draft that they only have three picks making the team (Levi Brown OT, Alan Branch DT and Steve Breasson WR).

Another curious move made by Cardinal Team Management is cutting Scott Player. We know that the Cardinals had to pay Buster Davis a 600,000 dollar signing bonus. Did they cut Player, not because he was a worse punter than Barr, but because he was more expensive at a salary of 750,000 versus Barr’s 250,000? By cutting Player, the Cards have made up 500,000 of the 600,000 dollars they paid out to Davis. Was cutting Player a move made in the best interest of the team or just another cheapskate ploy to save Big Bird Turd Bidwell and Bitty Bird Turd Bidwell money? Whatever the case, this move has cost Cardinals an experienced holder.

But on a positive note, if this were Denny Green, he would have kept every draft pick, despite their performance in the preseason. So, at least this year the Cards don’t feel like they have to dance with every single player they brung. And so away we go, straggling into the 2007, hoping that this year’s debut on Monday night football will show some progress, some bit of competence, some hope of something. Please, Whisenhunt, please show us something.